Chryed on the Edge of the Abyss
by Timidmouse
Summary: After months of blissful happiness together Chryed have an unwelcome visitor. What will Syed do next?
1. Chapter 1

**The Abyss, Chapter 1**

Christian turned over for the umpteenth time that night, the clock taunted him at 4:30am and still sleep eluded him. Once again he reached his arm out searching for Syed only to be met with the cold emptiness of the bed.

What a difference a day could make. As soon as Christian saw Qadim's short but powerful figure in the doorway he had been filled with dread. On this occasion though it was not physical torture that Qadim sought to inflict, but he was no less dangerous for that.

"So we meet again," said Qadim nodding first at Christian. "and this time Syed is not hiding in disgrace but flaunting his sin for the world to see." He made no effort to disguise his disdain and took a small step forward, lowered his voice, glowered at Syed and spoke. Christian had no idea what the words meant but the menace in them was chilling.

Syed was momentarily frozen, so it was Christian who stepped forward positioning himself between Qadim and Syed.

"Yes we are both here, and no thanks to you – what right have you to judge Syed when your own actions hardly demonstrate the peace and tolerance that is Islam."

"I will not be lectured to by some abomination..." started Qadim at which point Syed broke free from his trance and stepped up alongside Christian and clasping his hand and interrupted "If you have anything to say, you say it to me – it was me that wronged your daughter, it was my decision to marry her knowing that I could never be the husband she deserved. It is me that she should hate not Christian!"

"How touching." Qadim sneered "For my part I blame and curse you both. My daughter though is a superior being and for some reason that I cannot comprehend she still loves you Syed. For months now I have seen her cry herself to sleep every night, I have witnessed her shrink from the outside world to protect her from the shame that you have brought on her! My beautiful confident daughter is desperate and broken because of you."

With every word Syed winced and Christian saw the cloak of guilt weighing down his shoulders. Syed opened his mouth – but there were no riposte he could make because he knew it was true, all true and his lips trembled as he tried to contain his emotions.

"Do you think she would be any happier continuing to live a lie?" said Christian quietly. "I know we hurt her, but she is still young and beautiful, she still has the chance to find true love. As a father is that not what you want for her? "

"What man will have her now – deserted by her unfaithful husband and carrying his child?"

There was an audible gasp and Christian grasped Syed's hand tightly as he reeled.

"So now I have your attention. I have come, against my better judgement to make you an offer Syed. I do so for one reason and one reason only. My daughter is in the final stages of her pregnancy, she is so unhappy that I fear that the stress she is under will cause her and her baby lasting harm."

"This is a one-time limited offer – I will return here in thirty minutes, at which time you will have the choice to leave with me, never to return, and you may take up your position as husband, father and my son in law. I will ensure you and your family are once again embraced by the community and you will promise never to give way to your disgraceful sins of the flesh ever again."

"and if he chooses to stay..." said Christian

Fixing his glare on Christian "...then he will never see his child...ever" turning to Syed he said "Your choice, you have thirty minutes."

And then he was gone. Christian couldn't bring himself to face Syed. They had overcome his family's disapproval; they had survived the loss of his community; they had made an uneasy truce with his religion but he knew, had always known that he couldn't compete with a baby.

_**Reviews welcome.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**The Abyss, Chapter 2**

It was just after 9am and the caff was unusually quiet, giving Jane time to reflect on her troubled life. She recognised how hard Ian was trying to repair their marriage but the truth was even if she could forgive him for the abortion, she had fallen out of love with him long ago. She recognised now that she had married him because he represented safety, she had cared for him but had she ever really loved him? She had put up with is controlling and miserly attitudes because she valued the security his work ethic brought and she did admire his dedication to his kids, even if his relationship with them was sometimes difficult!

All this was unsettling enough but now there was Masood. They had always been good friends, and strayed towards something closer in the past, but now they had crossed the line between friends and lovers and she was both exhilarated and terrified. She was also confused; she didn't know what Masood was going to do next and the thought of facing up to Zainab ... it gave her a whole new insight on how hard it had been for Christian at least that had turned out well. His happiness had restored her faith in love, and made her long for a relationship as ecstatic and intense as Christian and Syed had found with each other.

Her thoughts were shaken by the shrill voice of Zainab.

Fifteen minutes later she was standing at the blue door ringing the bell. With no sign of a response she used her keys and let herself into Christian's darkened flat. There were remnants of Syed's clothes strewn across the floor, an empty vodka bottle and a broken glass on the table. She walked over to the bed where Christian lay and steeled herself. Well he was breathing anyway, she crept closer. He was sleeping, his cheeks tear stained and blotchy and he was hugging one of Syed's trademark checked shirts, but looked physically unharmed.

So, Zainab must have been telling the truth, Syed had left him. After all that they had been through, what on earth could have made Syed decide to go back to Amira.

She guessed by the soundness of his sleep he must have been drunk and exhausted, so she texted Ian to tell him she had shut up the cafe, then quietly cleared up, made coffee and settled herself on the settee to be there when he woke.

She didn't have long to wait. Within an hour he started to stir calling out for Syed, Jane touched his shoulder and clutched his hand until those piercing green eyes focussed on her and she watched the emotions etched on his face as the mist cleared and the stark reality hit him. "He's gone, Jane"

"I know Christian, Zainab has wasted no time in telling the whole square. She says it just proved that you had seduced him and that he was never truly gay. What happened?"

He struggled to his feet, wrapped himself in his dressing gown and accepted a coffee and began to tell Jane about Qadim's visit.

"You know Jane whoever said it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all never really experienced love. When Qadim walked out I pleaded with Syed, I told him that however much he loved his child he couldn't sacrifice his whole life because of one mistake, but he didn't even hear me out. He just ran out after Qadim and then they both returned with some if the henchmen in tow.

"As soon as I saw the smug look on Qadim's face I knew Syed had agreed to go with him. Syed walked right past me with his head down and headed through to pack his clothes. I tried to follow and talk but they held me back. It was only when he walked out of the door he turned to face me. He just said sorry and left."

The tears were rolling freely by now. "What do I do now Jane? I don't even know where he is. I wish Qadim had finished me off last time – to have tasted paradise and had it torn away from you is just too much to bear."

"Don't talk like that Christian, I am here for you. We will get through this I promise; maybe we should just get away from here and leave this tangled web behind us."

Her words sounded just as hollow to her as they did to Christian, because neither of them could see any light at the end of the tunnel.

They sat in silence, each trying to make some sense of the last 24 hours, neither wanting to venture out to face the cruel world. Eventually Christian stirred and headed for a shower leaving Jane to prepare some lunch.

As the water streamed down his body Christian's mind was filled with memories of Syed, his wet unruly hair, his coy fluttering eyes and the touch that could be anything Christian wanted it to be – playful, provoking, domineering or sweet and gentle. He shook himself looked at his hollow face in the mirror and reached for a towel.

As he did a piece of paper fluttered down to the floor. He bent down and instantly recognised Syed's scrawled handwriting, and suddenly with a few hurriedly scribbled words things didn't seem quite so bleak.

"Trust me, I will be back. Love you always, Sy"

**Reviews welcome**


	3. Chapter 3

**Dedicated to all the Chryedians – hoping they get some more meaty stories lines soon.**

**Many thanks for the reviews they are really appreciated.**

**The Abyss, Chapter 3**

Christian and Jane stared at the note, willing it to say more. He tried phoning Syed only to hear his phone ringing from its discarded position under the bed.

"We have to find out where they are – I wonder if Masood knows anything?" said Jane

Christian snorted "I know you are still friends Jane, but if he did he certainly wouldn't tell me?"

"No, but he might tell me … actually we are a little bit more than just friends."

Christian looked at the smirk on Jane's face and his eyebrows shot up at this revelation. "Well you're a dark horse aren't you, what is it – do you think there is some magnetic attraction between the Clarke's and the Masoods!"

He wanted details, most of all he wanted something to be able to retaliate against the next inevitable onslaught from Zainab, but it could wait. Sy was the priority so Jane set off in search of Masood and Christian phoned Tamwar.

Christian opened the drawer and pulled out some paper and started to write:-

_Dear Sy,_

_I got your note and I do trust you – but I am frightened for you and I miss you so much. I don't trust Qadim to keep you safe so Jane and I are coming to find you. I don't know how or when – but I know we are destined to be together again._

_Right now I am going out to face Walford – I am going to keep the appointments you made for me and tell all the doubters out there that you have just gone for a visit and will be back soon. If I have to face up to you mother, I will tell her she is kidding herself is she thinks you have gone for good. I will put on my bravest face, if anyone ever tells you that I didn't care that you had gone – you will know the truth – that I have faith in you, I have faith in us._

_Love C._

He folded the letter, put it into an envelope, sealed it and wrote on the front '_Syed Day 1_' and hid it at the back of the drawer. He then dressed for work, strode out into the square with his head held high and went to meet his first client. There were plenty of looks and whispering from the residents of the square but it was Roxy who first spoke to him between clients. "Is it true? Has Syed left you?"

"No," he said firmly "it is not true – but he has gone to see Amira because he found out she is pregnant after all."

When his clients were finished he met with Jane, Roxy and Tamwar. A less likely grouping for a Council of War he couldn't imagine but he was touched to know that there were people who cared. They shared information and strategies – Tamwar agreed to check out any details he could get about Qadim and his businesses, Roxy suggested since Amira was pregnant she must be going to pre-natal clinics and offered to find out more. Jane reported that neither Masood nor Zainab knew about a pregnancy. Zainab had simply had a text from Amira to say she and Syed were going to give their marriage another try.

Christian was more frightened than ever – what if the baby didn't exist, what if it was a ruse, what if Qadim had hurt Syed. He considered calling in the police, but they were hardly going to investigate a grown man who had voluntarily walked out on him. He suddenly felt hopelessness wash over him – all this talk, but there was nothing they could do.

"Christian", said Jane "When Lucy went missing you found a private detective – maybe we should contact him again."

It was worth a try – so they went their separate ways and resolved to keep in touch and meet up later.

Having spent an hour with the Private Detective Christian felt a little better – it was frightening how much that someone who knows how can find out about people. The detective was going to check out some known addresses of Qadim, Christian wanted to go too – but he was having none of it.

Apart from the fact it was unethical and dangerous to have an emotionally charged Christian alongside him; he was hardly likely to blend into a crowd!

So Christian returned home for a second night alone in their flat, which suddenly seemed cold and unwelcoming. His resolve to stay brave wavered and he once again sought the comfort of Syed's shirt, breathed in his scent and succumbed to a tearful, troubled sleep.

Miles away in a small cottage, hidden from the curious outside world by a large wall topped with barbed wire, Syed stirred the hot milk into the chocolate and went through to the bedroom where Amira lay. He handed her the cup and kissed her cheek, patting her swollen stomach.

"Not long now." He said.

"Thanks Babe, the sooner the better as far as I am concerned, I feel like a beached whale."

"You look beautiful." he said truthfully. He smiled as he withdrew to the small living room and knelt to pray.

He prayed for forgiveness, for his parents, for Amira, for Tamwar, for Shabnam, for the baby, for Christian but most of all he prayed for deliverance. When he finished he stripped to his boxers and crawled into the makeshift sofa bed. Reaching down he rifled through his bag and pulled out Christian's grey sweatshirt. He buried his face into the soft comforting fabric and cringed at his last memory of him, with the wounded and worried plea in his eyes. Was he OK? Had he found the note? Would Qadim leave him alone? Would he ever see him, hear him or touch again?


	4. Chapter 4

**The Abyss, Chapter 4**

Syed wandered outside, the morning air was fresh and sweet so unlike Walford. The cottage was set back from the road behind a pretty well kept garden, with a vegetable patch on one side and a patio with chairs on the other. Nice place to bring up kids, the newly awakened Dad in him thought. He liked what he saw; he thought he could find peace and solace in a place like this. He wondered what Christian would make of it, not enough night life for sure. He created this image of an English country pub with a low beamed ceiling and a roaring log fire, with "Hooray Henry's" in the lounge and "Country locals" in the snug with Christian propping up the bar, loud and proud in a vest bopping to Kylie! They would probably get banned for life, he laughed out loud at the thought – drawing his inquisitive minders closer. He shook his head, realising that this place was no more than a gilded cage and moved back inside.

Amira was clearly enjoying the luxury of having servants again; she smiled at Syed and patted the chair waiving everyone else away.

"So tell me what has happened since I left Walford." Syed shook his head he didn't want to upset her in her condition. "Syed, I want to know, and I want the truth – not some fairy tale version that you create for me." He started to move away, but her hand reached out and stopped him. "I need to know, I am about to be a mother, and everyone keeps treating me like a child" she implored.

So Syed talked, he told her all the details bar two – Qadim's attack on Christian and his attempted suicide. She listened intently as he unburdened himself, the breakdown of his family, the therapist, the mosque, the party and his acceptance of who he was. She had assumed that he would simply walk into the sunset with Christian. In some ways it made her feel better that she had not suffered alone, she was glad that they had hurt and yet ...

"If you are so happy with Christian, why are you here?"

"I do care you know – I just can't be who you want me to be."

He fell silent, thinking back to the last time he had said those exact same words, the layers and layers of guilt that came from his multiple deceptions were crushing him and he could no longer trust himself to speak. It never ceased to amaze him that Christian had so freely forgiven him, especially when he was so incapable of forgiving himself. He wanted Amira to forgive him also, but it was too much to expect.

She looked at him, so deep in thought and realised that she had never really known him and wondered what the future held – he was here, which meant something. Part or her still wanted to punish him for his rejection, part just could not bear to let him go because despite everything, she still loved him, or at least the person she thought he was, and he was the father of her unborn child. What did she want of him – to play happy families when she knew his heart was always going to be elsewhere? Could she live a near celibate life with a husband who didn't want to worship her?

"My Dad didn't give you a choice did he?"

"Well lets just say he made me an offer I couldn't refuse." He smiled ruefully

"Does Christian know where you are?"

"I don't even know where I am – do you? How long have you been living here?"

"Dad brought me here when I started to show – the only time I go out is when he comes to take me away for the day, and then it is to places where he is sure we will not meet anyone. He is looking after me like a princess, but I am so lonely. I miss my friends, I miss going out, I miss shopping"

"What is he going to hide you away for the next twenty years until our baby grows up!"

She liked to hear him talk about _their_ baby, but she shook her head glumly. "When the baby is born he is taking me to Pakistan. I told him if he wanted a fresh start there is Paris, Vienna, Milan, New York or anywhere in the world but he thinks I need to get back to my roots, both culturally and religiously. If you come back with me we are to live as man and wife, if not he has another husband lined up for me who is prepared to succumb to the shame of taking on another man's child. I don't want to go Syed – but what choice do I have?" Not for the first time since he had left Walford Syed wished that had answers, one thing was for sure whatever plan he might have had it didn't include Pakistan.

Amira had discovered there was a mobile phone hidden in the kitchen for emergencies, so she agreed to create a diversion for Syed. She started to scream and Syed was taken aback that such a delicate, fragile creature could create such a blood curdling sound, but it had the desired effect bringing everyone running to her side. Syed slipped to the kitchen, he knew he wouldn't have long.

Back in Walford the Council of War were getting an update from the Private Detective. They learned that tracing Qadim's business interest and properties was proving challenging as he had holding companies and partnerships all over the place; they also learned that some of his business interests were in Amira's name. There was no sign of Amira in any of his London addresses but Qadim had been seen at a Harvey Street gynaecologist who specialised in home births, so the detective reckoned they were not that far away. When he finished his report Jane followed him out to the street to ask what he really thought the chances of finding Syed were, he started to answer when they heard Christian shouting.

The met half way up the stairs – it was a text from Syed.

"Do you recognise the number" said the detective.

"No – and he says not to reply"

"How do you know it is Syed then?"

"No one else calls me Clarkey!"

The detective took the number saying it might be very helpful and left.

Left on his own again Christian took solace from the meagre contact, poured a drink and starting another letter.


	5. Chapter 5 The Reunion

**The Abyss Chapter 5**

It was 3 weeks 4 days and 2 hours since Syed had left and all he had was a crumpled note, a short text and the a thick dossier on Qadim that seemed to be filled with nothing but cold leads. The private investigator had done all he could and Christian's resolve was crumbling. It wasn't that he trusted Syed any less, but that he feared Qadim even more.

To the casual observer all was well, he dealt with his clients, and he appeared positive and held the party line. However between clients he avoided company, increasingly seeking the refuge of their flat, desperate to be surrounded by memories of Syed.

The Council of War knew the true highs and lows, after Syed's text they thought they had pinpointed where he and Amira were, but when they finally found the cottage it was empty. Now they were devoid of clues.

In the evenings Christian had taken to wandering aimlessly around places that had any association with Qadim, just in case something had been missed. Jane had begged him not to go alone, but he didn't want company, he wanted to wallow in the loneliness that engulfed him night after night. Besides the further he travelled, the longer hours he kept, the more exhausted he made himself – the more chance that when he finally collapsed into bed that he would actually manage to snatch some sleep. It was better than the alternative - a worry fuelled insomnia or memories of lust filled nights further eroding his peace of mind. More than anything he felt like he was **doing** something.

He idly flicked through the dossier for the hundredth time, wondering what to do next, wondering whether there might be something in this praying lark – but in the absence of faith it was fruitless. The thought that Syed's belief would be sustaining him brought some comfort. He closed his eyes and thought back to the times when he had seen a troubled Syed calm himself through reading the Qu'ran, chanting or praying.

After two days of tears and arguments Amira, had inevitably capitulated to her father's demands, she was distraught and drained of all the fight. She sat fidgeting, resigned to her fate. Syed, being more skilled in the art of deception, cloaked his fury with a calm, controlled mask. Today he would compound the guilt he already carried by deserting her and their baby. His resolve was fuelled by the complicity of those who should care for him most, and the confirmation that there was only one person who truly cared that he didn't waste his life by living a lie. His plan made, he patiently waited for the right time and cradled his baby daughter, in awe at the tiny fingers, the perfect features and the strands of dark curly hair. He shut out the noise around him and tried to imprint her onto his memory.

It was Qadim who saw him first, standing between them and their destination was the mountain of a man that was Christian, still, silent and resolute with his eyes fixated on Syed. In a scene reminiscent of the morning of "the" wedding Zainab couldn't help but unleash her fury at him, too late Qadim sought to restrain her.

Airport security seemed to appear from nowhere, and as the commotion raged Syed felt a tap on his shoulder and Jane hissed. "Don't make a scene – follow me." She turned walked away from the departure hall glancing only once behind her, surprised to see not just Syed but Amira with babe in arms in pursuit. As soon as they were out of sight they took to their heels and fled for the car and the open road.

"What about Christian?" panted Syed

"He'll be OK, he knows where to meet us." Responded Jane

"How did you know?"

"Your Dad, he found out your Mum had agreed to meet Qadim with your passport and he was furious."

This iota of sanity from his father gave Syed a small crumb of comfort.

At their destination, Syed and Jane went in search of supplies, leaving Amira bottle feeding. She suddenly became aware of Christian; he hesitated at first, and then gently stroked the contented child's cheek.

"Hey, I hope the rest of her life isn't as traumatic as the start of it." He turned his gaze to Amira "I'm sorry – I never meant for you to be hurt."

"I know" she said "I blamed you for everything to begin with, but I have had time to think and Syed and I have done a lot of talking. You did deceive me, but you did also try and help me make things work. The truth is Christian I have missed you as much as a friend as I have Syed as a husband."

They chatted for a while then Christian pushed two room keys across the table. "I thought we had better lie low for a bit and stay here tonight. Maybe I should let you sort out the sleeping arrangements."

"I am not sleeping with you Christian!" she grinned

He blushed slightly "You'd be safe enough with me."

"Hmm…. The last time a slept with a gay man I ended up with this bundle of joy"

"So … you accept that he is gay then?"

"I can't believe I never saw the signs – but yes I know, and I know he can't change what he is. Here…." She said pushing a key back across the table "I'll share with Jane, I need all the help I can get just now, this motherhood thing doesn't come naturally you know." Somehow that didn't surprise him!

Jane and Syed returned, as their eyes met Syed practically launched himself at Christian and was engulfed in his arms. Syed choked back the sobs, Christian feeling the tremors coursing through his body, drew him tighter. Neither man could speak but Christian held on until he was sure Syed had regained his composure, releasing his grip but not able to breach the contact he interlaced their fingers.

Christian and Syed remained touching, even if it was just the brush of a fingertip throughout the next hour as the four of them caught up on the events and called a relieved Tamwar and Roxy.

As they finally retired to their room hand in hand Syed said "I am going to have to stop doing this aren't I?"

"What running off to your wife?"

"No – returning to you with nothing but the clothes on my back – I think all my possessions might be halfway to Pakistan by now."

As the door closed behind them Christian pulled him into a searing kiss.

"They are only things Sy. Everything I want is right here – and besides when you're with me who needs clothes?"


	6. Chapter 6 The Homecoming

**The Abyss Chapter 6 – The Homecoming**

Arriving back in Walford Christian and Syed were alarmed to see yellow and black police tape across the blue front door and a newly installed lock. It didn't take long to track down Ian, who firstly berated them for the inconvenience and expense he had incurred dealing with the burglary, and as an afterthought asked where Jane was and when she was going to return.

Christian snorted and left with the new key, they gingerly entered the flat and groaned. The place had been trashed, cupboards ransacked, furniture overturned and the floor was littered with broken glass. It didn't take a genius to work out who was responsible and while it was only "things" that were broken, the uncertainty as to whether they might be back lingered unspoken in their minds.

With reluctance Christian went to meet his first client, but not before phoning Jane to suggest the she keep Amira and the baby out of the way. Syed phoned the police to finalise the crime report, and waited for them at the Massala Queen where he was reunited with Tamwar. Zainab, he discovered, had been detained overnight and was being released this morning with a caution, Masood was en-route to collect her. Tamwar was more than a little grateful not to be around for the inevitable fallout. Despite his deep disillusionment Syed rolled out the trite excuses, they were only doing what they thought was best, they were good people – he didn't even know himself whether he meant the words or whether he spoke them out of habit. He still craved their love and respect, but recently his doubts about their judgement seemed to increase every time their paths crossed.

Crossing the square he was rewarded with a wolf whistle and a cheeky grin from Christian and responded warmly to the well-wishers who seemed to be genuinely pleased to see him back. For someone who thought the whole world would judge and turn away from him after he made "the choice" he realised he may have lost one community but gained another. With a spring in his step he tripped up the stairs to start the process of tidying up.

It was late before Christian returned armed with a takeaway. He grinned at Syed's priorities, every surface was covered with either binbags, broken items that Syed was meticulously cataloguing for the insurance, or things precisely stacked to return to their rightful place. Every surface that was, except the bed, which was neatly made up with a few salvaged candles lit on the bedside table. The man himself sat cross legged on the floor so absorbed in trying to reassemble something he hadn't heard him come in. He stood for a moment just gazing at the mop of unruly hair, the look of sheer concentration on his face, the nimble fingers and the lithe body, he was perfection. He couldn't believe that despite everything the world seemed so intent on throwing at them, they still had each other and how nothing else mattered. He took a step forward and dropped to his knees in front of him, stroking his cheek and planting a trail of kisses around his jaw line before lightly brushing his lips and whispering huskily, "I brought you food." Syed ran the tip of his tongue up his neck and nipped his earlobe. "Mmmm, tasty!"

**Reviews welcome**


	7. Chapter 7 The Aftermath

**The Abyss –The Aftermath**

Jane watched him walk away with a heavy heart, she felt no animosity. In fact she worried about him, she liked Masood. She understood and accepted his religious beliefs but she just couldn't understand his intransigence with his son. She had hoped that the part he had played in this incident might mark a turning point in his attitude to Syed and Christian, but despite everything he would not forgive. He had come to see his first grandchild, he had heard at first hand that Amira, who had been the one most wronged, was prepared to move on and acknowledge them as a couple. How could he not see that this was not a phase, that denying who he was would resign Syed to a life of frustration and despair? How could any parent not want their child to be happy?

She had seriously considered whether there was potential for something more permanent between her and Masood, and she had gladly held his hand and consoled him as he tried to come to terms with the continuing evidence of Zainab's deceit, coupled with her vitriol in finding that it was him who had tipped off Christian. Jane didn't know how long Mas had know of Syed's whereabouts, and she realised she didn't want to know either. She could not see herself committing to someone who would not accept her brother and his partner as part of the family. So, she had told him that she wanted to remain a friend, that she would always be there for him, but that he needed to go back home and repair his family.

The baby was crying, she realised that Amira would, without any hint of remorse, leave her to do everything; not unlike Ian really! On this occasion though she didn't mind, it felt good. She quietly mourned the babies that she should have had, but wasn't going to let that stop her enjoying the sweetness of tending to this beautiful infant. Beautiful she was, how could she be anything else given her parents.

They had spent last evening talking about names. Amira had thought of Malika, which apparently meant Queen or Safiya meaning serene. Jane had laughed and said that given she was only a Princess perhaps she should stick to Safiya, never mind having to put up with Christian's jibes! Amira decided she would wait and consult with Syed. Jane tried a couple of times to talk about her future, but she was clearly burying her head in the sand and relying on Syed to sort everything out for her.

Back in Walford Christian finished repairing the damage to the door and fitted new locks and security features and humming along to the music went in search of Sy. Tamwar had come over with his laptop to get away from the atmosphere in the Masood household and was helping Syed go through the dossier on Qadim. The brothers were deep in conversation, Tamwar researching on the internet and Sy making notes, he watched them for a while mesmerised, then feeling as though he was intruding, he announced he was off to the Minute Mart and reminded Sy that they were going to see Amira in the evening. Syed mumbled an acknowledgement, engrossed in what he was doing.

By the time Christian returned, Tamwar had left and Syed was ready to explain his plan. With a sharpness of business acumen that would surely outdo Ian Beale, Syed reckoned that with a good lawyer and Amira's consent not only could he make sure that Amira, and the baby were properly provided for, but that he could play Qadim at his own game and ensure that if he wanted to keep his empire intact he would need to agree to leave them alone. Christian was right behind him – right up the the point where Syed said he needed to see Qadim face to face.


	8. Chapter 8 Resolution

**This final chapter is set two years on, Zainab and Masood were still married (just), Jane has left Ian with custody of Bobby, she house shares with Amira, becoming a second Mum to Safiya.**

**Sorry a bit cheesy – but I had to give them a happy ending. Reviews always appreciated.**

**The Abyss – Resolution**

It was probably the dullest Christmas party that Christian had ever been to, but his chest still swelled with pride. Here he was with at Sy's business in the company of staff, customers and business dignitaries, predominately Muslim and yet Sy had shown no discomfort introducing him as his partner.

He had seen Masood wince; it was funny how the relationship with his parents had changed. Masood was at least consistent, he might now acknowledge Syed existed, but he still avoided direct contact. Zainab, fuelled by guilt was desperate to make amends, and it was Syed who sought to keep her at arm's length.

His success in their businesses, and the fact he supported both Amira and Safiya, had won him back some respect in the Community, and he had returned to his local mosque, the snide comments and bigotry hadn't disappeared, but lessened over time and he had learned to shrug it off. It wasn't that Syed stopped feeling guilty, it was part of his personality to absorb blame, it was just that now it no longer defined him. Given that his success also lined his pocket, Qadim had honoured his promises and they no longer lived in that shadow.

As the evening wore on Christian became impatient to join Roxy who had an altogether more exciting night planned. This was going to be their last Christmas in Walford and Christian didn't want to miss out. He sought eye contact with Sy, who even with his back to him, knew he was being watched so he made his apologies and crossed the room to be at his side.

"Are you getting bored?" he said apologetically.

"I hope the Absacadabra Christmas party isn't going to be quite so tame."

"Don't worry boss!" he grinned "It will be totally tailored to your every need."

Christian loved that despite his own success Sy still paid attention their small, but growing company. Mind you he guessed it was as much that Sy wanted to be in charge of who he worked with, taking full control of all recruitment. Despite his flourishing confidence Sy had never managed to keep a lid on his jealousy!

It took another hour to extricate themselves, and Roxy was already well drunk by the time they got to R&R. She lined up the shots and draped herself around Christian while Syed went in search of Tamwar. It was past three when they finally made it home and Syed managed to get Christian to bed. He then poured a coffee and sat surveying all the boxes stacked ready for moving, in three days they would be gone from here. Given that it was Christian's flat before it became theirs, he had expected him to be more emotional about the move but he didn't appear to be. It was Syed that was finding it hard to move on, yes he knew that with the regular visits from Safiya, Amy and Bobby they needed the space, but this flat held so many memories – some bitter, some sweet and some hot! His mind was filled with memories, of fights, denials, discovery, tears, love and joy. Even yet it was only"within these four walls" that Syed felt he was truly himself. He worried whether by moving he would lose that security, he wondered whether having a conventional living arrangement in a house that was no longer dominated by that big bed might redefine their relationship and that they too might lose the passion, that didn't fuel their love, but expressed it in all its glory. Were they finally growing up and becoming responsible? Carrying these doubts he crawled in beside a slumbering Christian, who automatically wrapped his arms around him, nuzzled his cheek and succumbed to sleep.

On the day of the move everything was meticulously planned, Syed catalogued and ordered the boxes Christian stacked the van; Peter and Tamwar help carry out the larger items. Jane was at the new house, organising the new furniture and ready to unpack boxes as they arrived. Zainab came to help clean the flat, lest Ian retain their deposit! By 11am the flat was empty bar a few last minute boxes and Sy stood alone at the window waiting for the van to come back.

He suddenly felt bereft and wandered around the bare flat his fingers skimming the surfaces dragging out all sorts of memories with them. He leant against the wall, fighting back tears, and suddenly realised he was not alone. "It's only things" Christian tenderly reminded him, "home is not bricks and mortar, it is wherever **you** are." They clung to one another, reliving the good and the bad times.

The next day Christian went shopping leaving Syed with a few boxes of their personal possessions to unpack. He returned home stocked the kitchen and went to the bedroom, he tutted as he noted the boxes were still there, opened but not empty. He wondered where he had gone, and was about to leave when he heard a suppressed snuffle. "Sy?" He walked round the other side of the bed, sitting on the floor with a tear stained face was Syed. Lying scattered in front of him were the twenty one letters that Christian had written him during those missing days.

"You never told me..."he started.

"I never really meant for you to read them, it was just a way for me to cope."

"I'm sorry"

"What for – everything has turned out for the best. It's OK – it really is all OK". And Sy finally believed that it was.


End file.
